Sunday, May 13, 2018

Lines on the Royal Wedding of Harry and Meghan

It's so hard to see how our great Press will manage
To rise to the challenge of this Royal Marriage.
How can they best and successfully carry
The heart-swelling romance of Meghan and Harry?

Compared to previous Marriages
Is this more Travelodge than Claridge's?
Will they unlock the Royal Garage
And mobilise the Golden Carriage?
Or will they just, for Meghan Markle
Grab a motor from the car pool?
Readers are gagging to be told: Who'll park all
The cars and horses of the Royals?
And will there be portraits done in oils?

Then there's the guest list for the marriage.
We have to expect an ear-splitting barrage
Of calls for the list to include Mr Farage.
It's the Will of the People. Do untold damage
To the Monarchy if Farage is left off the list,
He might end up being right royally pissed.
To shun Mr Farage would be more than a trifle;
Might force him to go on the streets with his rifle.

And then there's the issue of how we see Meghan?
What if it turns out that she's some kind of pagan?
Or even (God save us) a gluten-free vegan?
That clearly would mean that she can't be a Royal.
So our truth-loving hacks must burn midnight oil
To find every fact that a web search will bring
That could tarnish the name of a possible King;
They must get themselves ready, professionally to fling
Not just a few clods of muddy brown soil,
In the general direction of the would-be new Royal
But a sky-darkening deluge of malodorous slurry
At the partner that Harry has chosen to marry.

This is the traditional monarchist manner
Our journalists follow.
Just think of Diana.

(c) Richard Lawson Dolberrow 03/05/2018

1 comment:

cara pemupukan bawang merah said...

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