New Catholic Archbishop condemned by Jesus

Don'cha just love it when two news items complement each other? Rev Vincent Nichols is due to replace poor Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor, whose sonorous moniker's dipped in dishonour (an odour of skankiness stubbornly lingers round his treatment of clergy with wandering fingers).

As soon as he has accepted the post (which presumably comes with a bullet proof pension, whatever the circumstances of his termination), he condemns TV adverts for condoms, despite their known virtues in preventing serious disease and even more serious polulation growth.

Meanwhile, over in Erin, one of that fair land's most senior clergy admits that a report will soon come out showing that thousands of children were abused by priests.

We may wonder what would Jesus have had to say about this kind of thing?

Wonder no longer. He said it plain and clear.

Woe to you, hypocrites, whited sepulchres, clean on the outside but inside full of rottenness and dead mens bones.

and

Take the bloody great stick out of your own eye before you try to take the speck out of your friend's eye.

and, if that is not clear enough for these masters of scriptural exegesis,

In all seriousness I have to say, if anyone abuses a child, it would be better for him if he has an enormous stone tied around his neck and he is tossed into a very deep body of water without breathing apparatus.


But what do they care? The priority for these churchman is to put the best spin they can on these stories as they emerge in the corporate media.

PS Happy Easter to all our readers, 25,000 this month so far.

Pope, homosexuality, pedophilia, hypocrisy

The Pope is widely reported as saying that the stamping out of homosexuality is more important than stamping out of illegal logging. Something to that effect; the Vatican website has not yet got it together to put his speech up, so I am having to go on hearsay. And I hear nobody on Radio 4 or read in the Guardian the obvious rejoinder to be made - stamping out pedophilia in the RC clergy should be the Pope's No. 1 priority, because pedophilia wrecks lives, and is incomparably worse than consensual physical affection between homosexual adults. Incomparably worse.

What does the Bible say?
For the congregation of hypocrites [shall be] desolate , and fire shall consume the tabernacles of bribery. (Job)
Mat 23:13 But woe unto you , scribes and Pharisees , hypocrites ! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men : for ye neither go in [yourselves], neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

And so on and so forth. 20 references in the King James Version, all against hypocrisy. No texts in favour of hypocrisy. Compare this to 7 texts which can be construed as anti-gay. Of which 3 are in the old testament, and the practice is tabu, terribile dictu along with mixed fibres in clothing, mixed lawn seed, shrimps, and pork.

Here's one I made earlier:



Lines on the Death of John Paul II


"No Popery!" Ian Paisley cried,
and now that John Paul II has died,
there is no Pope,
so can we hope
for Orangemen with peace inside?

Nope.
They just can't cope
without a Pope.
The Papists want a Papacy,
and Paisley needs an enemy.
Without a Pope
they'd all just . . . mope.

It really makes you think:
what if it pushed them off the brink ?
what if it made them turn to drink
or even . . . turn to dope?

Might be a blessing in disguise.
Imagine if the smokes that rise
above the Convocation
(as they all grope
for a new pope)
should symbolise a wider scope
for toleration?

What if the newly chosen Pope,
red-eyed, and reading Rattigan
loped lazily around the Vatican
flashing the peace sign,
Oh wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Fine.

But that could be a slippery slope
No-one would want a hippy Pope.

We should not hope
for a doped pope;

But could we simply go for one
that has a well developed sense of fun?
(Maybe when Ratzinger’s gone?)


(c) Richard Lawson
7.4.05

A Bear called Jesus?

Mind you, you don't meet that many Teddy Bears called Jesus. Or people called Jesus, come to that, except in Spain and Mexico.

In India, everyone and everything is called after the gods. Mazda matches are called after Ahura Mazda, god of the Zoroastrians, whose property was light and fire. Some Hindu businessman heard that Jesus (pbuh) was the Light of the World, and came out with Jesus Christ Matches. Collectors item now, no doubt.

Amazing that the Sudanese can turn a blind eye to genocide, but get fired up over a misnamed toy. Bit like the Christians who cannot tolerate homosexuality, but can overlook paedophile priests and the use of weapons of mass destruction - by our side, that is.

Jesus (pbuh) had a word for it: Strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.