re: That Conservative Party Conference 2008 Keynote Speech.
Ah Cameron, come in. Pull up a chair. Won't keep you a minute, young chap, you've had a busy day.
Nice speech, Cameron.
Nice but boring. I'd blame the policy wonks if I were you - they don't let you express yourself, do they? I suppose they red-crayoned all the jokes.
They let you down a bit on the Health and Safety bit, though.
That bit about the teachers? You remember? Can't put a plaster on a child's knee?
It isn't true.
It is a myth.
An untruth, Cameron. A little porkie pie. A falsehood. A wee fairy tale, a nasty little rumour put about by some tabloid hack no doubt.
Here it is. A poster. From the HSE site.
[Click in the box above to see poster. Sorry, you just can't get the programmers nowadays, can you?]
And here is the text from the HSE site.
We’ve often heard of teachers, volunteers and carers being told to ask parents for permission, or even requiring parents to drive over and put the plaster on themselves. This persistent myth causes a lot of unnecessary hassle and worry.
There is no rule that says a responsible adult can’t put a plaster on a child's minor cut. Some children do have an allergy to normal plasters. If you know a child is allergic you can use the Hypo-allergenic type of plaster. The important thing is to clean and cover the cut to stop it getting infected.
So. There we have it, in black and white. Sensible advice with which the medical profession will happily concur.
I hope you are going to get up in Assembly and say sorry to the school for slurring the good name of the Health and Safety Executive who generally do a good job. Except that they totally failed to do their duty at the Newbury By Pass Resistance actions.
As for the crack against "human rights", David. I am a bit disappointed. I just want you to bring me 1000 words this time next week on "Why it is not good practice for aspiring Head Prefects to produce sound bites denigrating Human Rights".
So, Cameron. Only 3/10 for the speech.
I know you can and will do better.
That's all. You may go now.