Tuesday, October 05, 2010

The Ballad of Andy Coulson

To the tune of Poor Paddy Works on the Railway.


The Ballad of Andy Coulson

With Andy Coulson in control
The News of the World was on a roll
The News of the World was on a roll
Exclusives every Sunday,
(Each Sunday).
But Andy knew not whence they came
Poor Andy was out of the game.

They brought a story to the boil
From Mulcaire’s hacking of a Royal
Two men went down and still stayed loyal
And Andy still knew nothing.

They were working
Serving Murdoch
Hacking mobiles
Bugging Royal
Selling tabloids
Andy Coulson still knew nothing.


They hacked into the phones of slebs
Politicos, coppers and a few debs.
They even hacked into the plebs
But Andy still knew nothing,
(Knew nothing),
Even with the practice so widespread
Poor Andy was out of the game.

Now silence you can always buy it
They paid their victims to keep quiet
A million pounds to stop a riot
Andy still knew nothing.

They were working
Serving Murdoch
Hacking mobiles
Bugging Royals
Selling tabloids
Andy Coulson still knew nothing.


They called in Hayman of the Yard
Who really didn’t try too hard.
The victims of the crime were barred
From knowing about the hacking,
The hacking.
Now Hayman works for Murdoch
And Andy, he works for Dave.

Democracy’s a wondrous thing
So long as you can rein it in
Control the press, forget the rest
And tell the people nothing.

They were working
Serving Murdoch
Hacking mobiles
Bugging Royals
Selling tabloids
 Andy Coulson still knew nothing.


Now slowly truth comes trickling out
Like slobber from a sick pig’s snout;
It makes it clear beyond all doubt
That Coulson is a liar
(A liar).
It makes it clear beyond all doubt
That Andy was in on the game.


So what is Cameron to do
With Andy fallen in the stew
They try to keep it out the news
But Twitter’s got the story.


They were working
Serving Murdoch
Hacking mobiles
Bugging Royals
Selling tabloids
All for lying Andy Coulson.


© Richard Lawson 5.10.10
(If you want to

6 comments:

rob said...

Pass the Wensleydale Cleggy, take that whiff of Murdoch away!!

DocRichard said...

I thought it was Eddiband who is the new Wallace?

Collins said...

Great topic here.
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rob said...

DocRichard
"I thought it was Eddiband who is the new Wallace?"

Possibly - but who's closer to the scent?

DocRichard said...

Collins, your algorithms are way off, not even close; hang on...Cameron, plastic. I think I see the connection, but you're still way off.

However, I do have an invention that could use certain plastics. Get in touch.

You mean Dave is more in need of an air freshener than Eddiband? Better still, Dave needs to open a window and defenestrate Andy Coulson. Only joking. Violence is the problem not the solution.

Give my regards to Hazel, if you are Hazel's Rob. :)

rob said...

Sorry Doc - I was just passing through. Hazel didn't go nuts over me.

My original comment was a flippant invocation to the inferior one, was it Ant or was it Dec?, to clean up the Aegean stables. There are none so deaf though....

I do like the idea of defenestration though...... We hav ze vays of making you talk - perhaps castra.... and then again perhaps not!